Aquasocks

2010-12-31T00:41:00.003+08:00

Hi Jazelia,

Please drop by Astro next Monday in my office and we can discuss this in detail.

3.30- 4pm will be a good time

Cheers and Have a happy new year

Abid Hussain
Vice President Network Creatives
Astro Entertainment Sdn.Bhd.

*gasps* THE PRESSSUREEEEEEEE! I mean, like, what should I do? Do I prepare a few things? What do I prepare? Some artwork? Writings? Pictures? What? Whaaaaat?!

Meow. :(

Soulwax

2010-12-26T01:28:00.003+08:00

In conjunction with the last week of 2010, I'm well confused by the contrast of feelings I have about the oncoming internship. I don't know if I should be proud, afraid, prepared, or any other feeling that comes with the word I-N-T-E-R-N-S-H-I-P.

Thanks to Richard, Soulwax is keeping my feet on the ground.

2010-12-17T04:41:00.001+08:00

'Ju know that snowflakes, AREN'T REALLY SNOWFLAKES?

Grown-ups lie all the time.

KUL to BAH. BAH to LDH.

2010-12-14T00:50:00.003+08:00

Each flight took 7 precious hours from my whole lifetime (to be a little more dramatic). Sigh. 7 precious-made-horrid hours. Of uncomfortable sleeping positions, uncomfortable distance between other passengers (you could smell their Mongolian armpits, fo' real), and unwanted hours of waiting.. waiting.. and waiting.. without a single script of entertainment. Diabolical, I'm telling you. GULF AIR is completely bullshit. Their tiny screens don't work, their staff don't bother assisting passengers properly, neither do they prioritize their customers' needs. And they're not punctual. God.

Besides the horrible travel experience, everything went pretty well. :) The cold in Heathrow was a literal slap-in-the-face. Because it REALLY SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. -.- I could've died from such a shock. Talk about physical arrest.

The stroll down Oxford Street was a sweetheart. All kinds of shops. So many things to buy, to drool over! OMG I was dyinggggg. Oh and my nose died on the way to Oxford St. I'm not kidding.

So Mom, Lissa, and I got ourselves a pair of boots to wear for the rest of this trip. All black, non-leather, and PURDY.

Barratts and Aldo? I'm in love!

P/S Can't wait for 15th. :3 I miss my boy.

2010-12-08T02:34:00.001+08:00

I think I lost a bestfriend.

X5 :)

2010-12-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

Hello via mobile web. ♥

Jangan Bimbang, Ku Tetap Kau Yang Punya

2010-12-05T03:33:00.005+08:00

This feels like it's long lasting. Can you really trust intuition? Incoherent for its complicity, for its unpredictably tangent decisions. Complete theta, that's what it is.

This is so simple. Even simpler than expected. I could smell the simple future, as well. Keys? Patience, acceptance, logical, present, and honesty. Basic, but difficult. Basic. You're basic. Back to basics. (:

20 days of happiness. Thanks to you. SN ♥

2010-12-05T02:32:00.003+08:00

8 days 'til I fly to Heathrow, London.

I'll only be working on Tuesday (7th Dec) for a closing shift, and Thursday (9th Dec) for an opening shift. The rest of the days? Probably will be spent catching up with some old friends or just plain chilling at my usual spot - The Curve. :) I'm really excited about this Euro Trip mainly because I love love LOVE Europe (over USA, hands-down), its historical monuments, and the weather. I am a little bummed that we wont be able to drive up to Scotland due to the unconditional weather. Heard that all the airports and highways in Scotland are closed for the rest of this season. :/ Anywhoo, Plan B is to visit AMSTERDAMMMMM! YES! Previously, my dad offered for us two choices - being Amsterdam or Barcelona - but because my mum insists on us ferrying across the English Channel to Calais, from Dover.

And after a good session of Google-map/Satellite-ing with my mum, I have completely forgotten what I wanted to write. -.-' 'Til next time!

2010-12-03T04:42:00.000+08:00

Carey Mulligan wannabe-so-badly.

Some things must be learnt from a teacher, not from mistakes

2010-12-03T03:42:00.002+08:00

At times, everybody who is anybody will endure indescribable experiences/feelings. I want to be able to describe the indescribable.

Didn't you mother ever teach you to have respect? To shut your yap when you don't have anything nice to say? Or should you qualify yourself amongst the race of uncivilized people, namely "Kurang ajar"?

If I'm rude, in your opinion, then you're obnoxious, in everyone else's opinion.

2010-11-30T23:23:00.002+08:00

I'm enjoying the relaxing life of carelessness. Not caring about what people think, what people say. Not pressuring myself with work, hence my weekly schedule of just two days a week in Starbucks. Not caring about what lies ahead for now and just enjoying the present. Not stressing myself with complicated relationships, only to be with a simple and loving young man. :) Not caring about what might happen for this December because mafukkahs, I'LL BE IN EUROPE AND YOU PEOPLE IN MALAYSIA WHO JUST CANT GET ENOUGH OF YOUR OWN SHIT, CAN SOAK AND STINK IN IT. Peace, love, rock and roll, baby. ♥

2010-11-27T01:32:00.001+08:00

Little girl, step over my border again and I will have your head served on a bronze plate. :)

550th post

2010-11-21T03:00:00.002+08:00

You. Yeah, you. I beg your pardon but I didn't sign up to be 'related' to you, either. It's bad enough that you were THROWN into this clean family. But now I have to tolerate your fucking bullshit? Oh, I'm sorry, was I too harsh? I didn't mean that. :) I meant YOU DON'T BELONG HERE.

2010-11-15T03:45:00.002+08:00

There must be a reason why. Three years ago, my trust for you went down the drain - dragging along with it were any strong feelings I had for you. Little did I know it was all a sham. A lie. That something really existed. You left me blinded by an absence of reliability. A number of opportunities did you try to make it work. But at the end of every opportunity, I would still be left empty-handed. Maybe the years have worn out any possibility of my trusting you ever again - even if it was with a set of keys.

There must be a reason why it didn't work out back then.

As a human being, I understand why you came back. As a person, I understand how you feel. As your friend, I understand why you did what you did. But as soul, I don't understand why I'm feeling guilty for doing this to you, why this is difficult for me, and why your feelings just don't appeal to me as they did before. A part of me has always cared about you, as someone who I once loved so much. But that's all it is.. and that's all it will be.

I'm sorry, my dear friend.

2010-11-13T03:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I find myself missing you.
Then I'm reminded that the person I miss is someone you used to be.
And I'm back in square one. Hating you.

Speaking of idiots

2010-11-10T04:50:00.003+08:00

Over-thinking things rather deeply to the point where ignorance blinds you from seeing what's right under your nose.

Expecting a real wolf to attack a boy and his herd of sheep, after the boy has falsely cried 'WOLF!' for the 7th time, should be completely ridiculous to anyone clinically sane.

Gambling all your fortune to an unknown share, without expecting a logical result of nothing. Ending up with sheer bankruptcy.

Cowardly calling your mind, the boy, (maybe) the wolf, and the share - idiots.

Who is the 'idiot', really?

2010-11-07T00:39:00.002+08:00

Dear Atuk Jonid,

2010-11-06T23:50:00.002+08:00

Mama bought a Burberry muffler, today. I cried. Because it reminded me of you.

Love,
JC.

2010-11-05T01:49:00.001+08:00

You didn't break my heart.. my perceptions and expectations did.

2010-11-05T01:40:00.001+08:00

Back off, infidel. I do NOT have patience for people who are damned to eternal Hell for pride.

2010-11-05T01:18:00.004+08:00

It's cold and I'm freezing. Surrounded by assumptions, raw experience, trauma. Nothing is safe. My mind is foggy, vague memories blur the perceptions I used to have about anything. I have no memory. Where am I?

I was once consumed by an abyss, and how I wonder. How long was I in the light? I now suddenly realize, that I'm back in square one. In the abyss. What did I do wrong? I'm no one to judge myself. I can only brace myself to be spit out.

But I don't want the world to see me. Because everybody who's anybody claims that they understand. Bottom-line? Nobody does.

2010-11-04T05:20:00.001+08:00

What is it that we like about someone? Is it their looks, how they dress, how they treat us? Is it how they carry themselves? Is it how they make you feel?

I hate you. I hate your guts. You said it yourself that you are a selfless person, that you like to please other people. So I wonder what happened. 4 months down the road and I finally see your true colours.

1. Insensitive, when you make time for your friends more than I.
2. Inconsiderate, when you do things without considering how I would feel.
3. Immature, when you get mad for the wrong reasons and misunderstand easily.
4. Not ready for serious relationships, and that explains why girls keep leaving you.
5. Inexperienced, when you jumped into a relationship even before you actually get to know that so called 'special' someone.

The fact that I thought you were selfless and reliable attracted me to you. But the fact that you have all these problems overpowers your attractions, hands down.

2010-11-01T19:31:00.001+08:00

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you. And I need you like a heart needs a beat but it's nothing new.

2010-11-01T18:01:00.000+08:00

Darling I'll bathe your skin. I'll even wash your clothes. Just give me some candy, before I go. Oh, darling I'll kiss your eyes. And lay you down on your rug. Just give me some candy after my heart.

On another note

2010-10-31T00:24:00.002+08:00

Besides the fact that I've had several traumatic relationships, I can sometimes believe that the one after would be a good catch. WRONG.

ON ANOTHER NOTE, sometimes break-ups (being the unfortunate event) come with several fortunate events! Such as finding someone slightly better, if not worth it, or.. uhh.. a newborn baby (?). Technically, break-ups happen for a very. Good. Reason. Which is? A reminder telling you "Why you SHOULDN'T go back". Merely educational. And merely inspirational survival-wise. :)

A number of things you'd most DEFINITELY learn:-
1. You'll never go back to the same person.
2. You'll never get together with the same kind (character/whatnot) of person.
3. You'll move on from the lifestyle/routine of which you were carrying out while with that particular person. Which results to GOOD CHANGE. (Y)

Agree with me.

Heavy Heart

2010-10-29T03:01:00.005+08:00

Immense heart-pressure positioned by numerous psychological reasons, such as envy and doubt and worry, merely slows down the heart and brain neurons. From what seems to make you happy, becomes something you dread each day, for the life of it. From being capable of multitasking, to something slightly faster than a slow coach. Conclusion? Emotions do not devour the pains of heart-pressure. I repeat, do not.

The term 'Lighthearted' only defines the feeling of not being burdened by trouble, worry, or care; happy and carefree. Whereas 'Heavyhearted' would only point in the opposite direction. Usually held back by a sense of responsibility or devotion, 'Heavyhearted-ness' might be harder to let go even with all the valid reasons.

The only time when you feel lighthearted but in the opposite direction, is when you're in love. As cliche as it sounds, it's true. Complete selflessness CAN outdo heavyhearted-ness. But one shouldn't settle down too quickly. Horses should be held at attention in case any unwanted misunderstandings consume each others' positive perspective.

Trance

2010-10-28T05:30:00.005+08:00

New age music. Namely populated by worshipers of The Bloody Beetroots, and Steve Aoki. Trance. Say hello to your new follower. :)

2010-10-28T03:06:00.000+08:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, NIV).

2010-10-27T02:41:00.000+08:00

Now I'm feelin' so fly like a G6.

2010-10-26T01:37:00.001+08:00

Maybe once upon a time photography was my obsession because I wanted the world to see itself through my eyes. Maybe in the end writing became my passion because I want the world to know what it feels like to be in my shoes.

"OMG I see Hayley! HAYLEY I LOVE YOU!"

2010-10-25T02:05:00.002+08:00

Getting to see the idol of your life up-front is an indescribable feeling.

Wicture thinker

2010-10-23T19:06:00.002+08:00

Wicture = Words / Picture

Walk into a bookstore and head towards the stationary section, which is my preferred destination. I seem to have this fetish of buying empty notepads/sketchbooks and never using them, for I think of my skills as dreadful. Sometimes, I'd buy tear-away test pads. I'd write/sketch in them and if I like my work, I'd compile it all into one file. To transfer the work onto a proper notepad.. would be disastrous as my hand-writing wouldn't be quite as satisfactory.

As I'd like to label myself as a 'wicture thinker', I seem to be indecisive when it comes to executing my thoughts/ideas. On sketch, or on notes? Sketch? Notes? Netch? Skotes? Hm. It's like.. 'thought' dyslexia.. of a sort.

So I'd end up having an exaggerated number of empty notepads and sketchbooks, waiting to be filled. It's an awful habit.

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

2010-10-18T21:13:00.002+08:00

Okay I know I've lacked a lot of time to finish this God-damned challenge, but I'm finally coming to my senses because I don't have much to focus on anymore. :/

Anywho, I crave for clothes. A lot. Seriously. I cannot go a month without buying a new, (sometimes) pricey, and irresistible outfit. Ugh. Guilty pleasure. That's why I work. So that I don't have to ask for money from my parents.

2010-10-18T21:09:00.002+08:00

Every text message sent to my phone gives me a heart-attack, these days. Honestly. Because I seem to have this habit of hoping that it's you, then having myself miserable all over again when it isn't.

I'm giving you what you want because I respect your every decision. All I can do now is brace myself, hope for the best, and pray that you'll come back.

FB - Top News

2010-10-16T19:13:00.001+08:00

James Tang is single.

Flooded within

2010-10-16T17:06:00.002+08:00

Two unimaginably-horrible things happened in three days. My heart feels like it's being torn apart by a pair of hands very, very slowly. I never knew such pain existed. Excruciating my liver, asphyxiating my breath. My brain feels flooded with thoughts and hurtful images.

I'm cringing. Trying to contain everything in my head and everything I'm feeling. Trying so hard not to cry.

The End of a Good Man

2010-10-14T03:08:00.004+08:00

At approximately 5pm on the 13th of October, 2010, Mohd. Jonid B. Abd. Rahim, my Granddad on my Dad's side, passed away. He was 97 years old - the oldest person in the history of our family, and the most wonderful Grandfather to all of us.

He was born on the 1st of May, in 1913. Has lived out 3 wives ('cs he's awesome). Has 7 children (my Dad being the 3rd child, with 5 sisters). So you can just imagine how many cousins I have on that side of the family. TOO MANY. So many, that it's vague and I wouldn't want to start uncovering that vagueness.

Considering the fact that I dislike my Granddad on my Mum's side, I considered Atuk Jonid as my ONE AND ONLY Granddad. And I was proud of him. He was never grumpy. He was always laughing. He was always smiling. Always dancing. Most importantly, he was always there. And he was NEVER SENILE. He was very steady for his age. He could still see well, drive well, handle mugs well, talked well, remembered well, and even walked well. He was.. an amazing man.

It hurt when I saw how he got sick. How he couldn't sleep and how he started acting up. It hurt to see him get left alone in the living room when everyone wanted to catch up with each other and he couldn't really fit into a conversation. It hurt. I did sometimes walk over to him and have a chat with him, but you know.. for a man at that age, he would love to have a conversation with someone a tad older than me. So we ended up in awkward silence, and he'd ask to go to bed early.

His birthdays were the only occasion in which EVERYONE would make time to attend. He united our big family. And now.. he's gone.

He's given his all, he's done his best. He'll be here for us when we need him, but he'll just be in our hearts, or hovering us from Heaven. Watching over us.

I'm sad, of course, that he's actually gone. That there wont be any more silly ramblings from an old man whom had been around for almost a century. But for all that he's been through, and for all the changes, both bad and good, that he has seen, I suppose, he's earned his rest. After countless, sleepless, and lonely nights, he's finally in peace.. and reunited with his fellow siblings and relatives whom have passed on long ago. People in his life. Finally, he is home.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W. H. Auden

There is a big hole in my heart which will never be filled.
I'll be waiting for the time when you will fill it, again.
Al-Fatihah, my dearest Atuk Jonid. ♥

Sometimes, in order to keep track of our own sanity..

2010-10-12T01:38:00.002+08:00

.. We read books about insane people and their life story. It helps.

I hate my flaws as much as I love my virtues. Sometimes, I can't bare to look at myself in the mirror out of so much hatred. But at the end of the day, I know, and almost everybody knows, that we have to live with ourselves first before we can live with everybody else in this world.

JT

2010-10-11T02:08:00.003+08:00

Alright so based on my previous post, it's pretty obvious that I'm not your regular-innocent-suburban. In actual fact, I'm pretty sinful. -_____-' I can't believe I just declared myself that. Maybe I don't pray enough. Or wouldn't praying change a single thing? Is this my true nature? An envious, proud, and lazy person? I'm not lazy! :(

Spent most of today with le petit ami rendezvousing all the malls in Klang Valley, stopping at three Starbucks stores, going to three cinemas, visiting a new mall (The Gardens), viewing IACT college, and paying parking tickets. I'm sure it doesn't seem like much to most of you, but the time we managed to spend together - either laughing or arguing or in mere silence - was well-deserved for all our commitment and hard work throughout the week. :) Now, it's back to absences and commitments. :(

I embrace every second of your presence, and I miss you every millisecond when you're absent. I love you so much, and you suck. ♥♥

7 Deadly Sins

2010-10-11T01:20:00.000+08:00

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	High
Lust:	Low
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Change of plans

2010-10-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

Barista sched:
Mon (11/10): 0900 - 1700
Tue (12/10): 0900 - 1500 (Nik has to cover a shift in Klang)
Wed (13/10): 1530 - 2330
Thu (14/10): 0900 - 1700
Fri (15/10): OFF
Sat (16/10): 0900 - 1700
Sun (17/10): OFF

So 5 days, next week. Fuck.

Updates

2010-10-09T02:33:00.002+08:00

Barista sched:
Mon (11/10): 0900 - 1700
Tue (12/10): OFF
Wed (13/10): 1530 - 2330
Thu (14/10): 0900 - 1700
Fri (15/10): OFF
Sat (16/10): 0900 - 1700
Sun (17/10): OFF

Three consecutive days of closing shift is NOT funny. Today was a chilling, yet exhausting, closing for most of us. At least I did the dish-washing and cleaned the Grease Trap, which attacked me by somewhat grabbing my legs via overflowing and flooding the floor. -___- Thank God I have the weekend off. Time to catch up on some sleep!

Meanwhile, the word is going around that Aunt Gabriel is currently in Singapore and will be in Malaysia, tomorrow. Yeay! :D I miss that drama-queen.

Lemme make things clear

2010-10-08T02:26:00.002+08:00

My heart has ignited in flames. Merely from so much hatred.. anger.. envy, maybe. So.. lemme make things very clear.

1. They DO NOT put you in their top friends list.. unless they wanna fuck you.
2. They DO NOT call you 'DEAR'.. unless they wanna fuck you.
and
3. THEY DO NOT ARGUE WITH YOU ABOUT FOOT-FUCKING-BALL.. UNLESS THEY WANNA FUCK YOU!!!!!!

Fuck off, sluts. Thanks. :)

Outgrown

2010-10-06T02:29:00.002+08:00

I had bought the last book of a series I've been following since I was fourteen (introduced by my friend, Iza), yesterday. A book I'd been searching for the past two years or so. I started reading it as soon as I purchased it, and had finished reading it this very afternoon (despite the fact that it was a <200 paged novel). And I can tell you that while I was reading through those paragraphs, I noticed a number of things.

1. It wasn't quite the ending I had expected it to be.
2. No baby-making in detail (those were mere bombshells).
3. I had outgrown this type of reading material.

Seriously, I was struck by the fact that it was wreaking with immaturity, which I hadn't realized before. Has the author lost her touch in fine writing.. or have I actually grown up?

2010-10-02T15:38:00.002+08:00

Well hello there, suckers. I'm currently blogging from my Mum's Macbook Pro. And I feel so filthy and poor. (Y)

We just finished moving our stuff to the new condo and unpacked a whole bunch of boxes. Today's the first day we're actually going out after moving. I picked Medjai up from the hospital, earlier today, and she wasn't quite herself. She seemed a little frenzied on the way back to our new condo via cab. In the end, she became quite familiar to the new place after jumping onto me and my sister's beds. I'm glad she's coping well. ♥

I'm a little unwell due to all the exposure of dust I've gotten for the past few days. Been pretty bashful, honest to say. Hope to get well soon so that I can work properly. In the meantime, Caramel Macchiato is being an awesome mate. :D

P/S Itching to take photos with this Macbook Pro. Grrrrrr.

VanillaSkin

2010-09-29T22:46:00.002+08:00

Am now sitting on the floor with my desktop in front of me, and a keyboard under my dancing fingers. It's weird to be a nomad. Somewhat a nomad, anyway. Will be checking Medjai into the hospital for two days, starting tomorrow. I have a stomachache. :(

Thinking of changing my blog URL to this title up here. ^ Sounds very.. me. Haha. Like durh! Ew I just disgusted myself. -.-' I DO NOT HAVE A BED. I REPEAT, I DO NOT HAVE A BEDDDDD! I'm considerably homeless, if you must! *sobs*

I wanna be a copywriterrrr. >:] Lol. I make awesome lattes.

Losing Grip

2010-09-29T00:57:00.002+08:00

Enough said that I'm currently moving into a new home, which isn't too far away from my current location, and yet I suppose it will provide us a better start. Mum and Dad have been packing and carrying a lot of stuff while my sister and I are at school/work. I end up rushing home just to lend them a hand, though by the time I actually arrive home, they'd be almost done.

A few migraines have been arising every now and then. Can't seem to find a cause besides the stress and pressure bestowed upon me. So many things are happening at the same time. So much to get used to. At least I'm getting my pay, tomorrow. Hopefully that'll cheer things up a little.

Goal of the month: Understand that problems can be put aside and/or overcame. Understand that not every listener can be there/is able to listen, provide advices, and understand, all the time. Understand that drowning in depression will cause more migraines. And wastage of pain-killer Benjamins.

ALSO, understand that growing patience, AND realism will reside heartache/emotional torture/loathing etc. Bottomline -> DO. NOT. CARE. THAT MUCH. ANYMORE.

Comprende, Jazelia?

I've done this before. But I'm so bored, I can't help itttt!

2010-09-27T01:31:00.002+08:00

WHAT WAS YOUR:
Last beverage:
Soy milk.

Last phone call:
James. Around 6pm, today.

Last text message:
James, yet again!

Last song you listened to:
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

Last time you cried:
Two days ago.

HAVE YOU EVER:
Dated someone twice:
Yes.

Been cheated on:
Yes.

Kissed someone & regretted it:
Yes.

Lost someone special:
Yes.

Been depressed:
Yes.

Been drunk and threw up:
No.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
- Gray
- Navy.
- Purple.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU (2010):
Made a new friend:
Plenty from CDH, Padini, Starbucks, and outside. :D

Fallen out of love:
Yes.

Laughed until you cried:
Yes.

Met someone who changed you:
James made me a whole new person. :)

Found out who your true friends were:
Not too sure about that.

Found out someone was talking about you:
I really don't give a fuck.

Kissed anyone on your friend's list:
Yes.

How many people on your friends list do you know in real life:
Most of them.

How many kids do you want?:
Two!

Do you have any pets:
MEDJAIIII ♥

Do you want to change your name:
No?

What did you do for your last birthday:
Nothing, really. Was already working by then.

What time did you wake up today:
10am.

What were you doing at midnight last night:
Just came back from Din's house.

Name something you CANNOT wait for:
PARAMOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Last time you saw your Mother:
About half an hour ago?

What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:
Nothing. Every moment was meant to be special, and every mistake was meant to be learned from.

What are you listening to right now:
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:
Sure.

What's getting on your nerves right now:
Nothing.

Most visited webpage:
Fb,and Aquasocks.

What's your real name:
Jazelia bt Jasmene.

Nicknames:
Jc, Jaz, Jazel, Jazlee, and Monkey calls me Kiddy and Elia. -.-'

Relationship Status:
Completely taken.

Zodiac sign:
Pisces.

Male or female?:
Female.

rimary School?:
SKBBSD, SKBBSD2, and SKBSD3.

Secondary School?:
SMKBSD1.

High school/college?:
BSI PJ/(?).

Hair colour:
Dark brown.

Long or short:
Short.

Height:
Five foot one 1/2.

Do you have a crush on someone?:
On this one Chili's boy omg HE'S SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!! ♥♥♥

What do you like about yourself?:
I like how I'm my own individual.

Piercings:
Two pairs.

Tattoos:
None.

Righty or lefty:
Righty.

FIRSTS:
First surgery:
-

First piercing:
11 years old.

First sport you joined:
Taekwando.

First vacation:
London.

First pair of trainers:
Nike!

RIGHT NOW:
Eating:
-

Drinking:
-

I'm about to:
Mimic 'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan.

Listening to:
Sarah McLachlan - Angel.

Waiting on:
THE WORLD TO CHANGEEEE!

YOUR FUTURE:
Want kids?:
Yes. But only if James is ma baby daddy-o. :D

Get Married?:
Yes!

Career?:
I R Future Wife! Lol.

WHICH IS BETTER:
Lips or eyes:
Em. Eyes. :)

Hugs or kisses:
Good kissers are good huggers as well. So.. kiss > hugs.

Shorter or taller:
Taller, pls.

Older or Younger:
Same age or older.

Romantic or spontaneous:
Spontaneous.

Nice stomach or nice arms:
He's got both. *drools like some buttfuck*

Sensitive or loud:
Idk somewhere in the middle, I think.

Hook-up or relationship:
Relationship.

Trouble maker or hesitant:
A WISE troublemaker.

HAVE YOU EVER:
Kissed a stranger:
No.

Drank hard liquor:
No.

Lost glasses/contacts:
No.

Sex on first date:
No.

Broken someone's heart:
Yes.

Been arrested:
No.

Turned someone down:
Yes.

Cried when someone died:
Yes.

Fallen for a friend?:
Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
Yourself:
Yes.

Miracles:
I believe in God.

Love at first sight:
Yes.

Heaven:
Yes.

Santa Claus:
Too bad it's bullshit.

Kiss on the first date:
No.

Angels:
Yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:
No.

Did you sing today?:
Yes.

Ever cheated on somebody?:
Yes.

If you could go back in time, how far would you go?:
Back to when I first met James. I would've kissed him right then and theree!

If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?:
SPM. I'd do it differently.

Are you afraid of falling in love?:
Not anymore.

Honestly

2010-09-27T00:42:00.003+08:00

I'm glad you scheduled for a driving class that day.
I'm glad my dad scheduled for my talk on that day as well.
I'm glad you glanced at me.
I'm glad I ignored you. Or you wouldn't have tried. :p
I'm glad we argued about who got on the van first.
I'm glad we found it hilarious.
I'm glad you helped hold the van from leaving me behind.
I'm glad I gave you a chance.
I'm glad you talked to me during our journey home.
I'm glad we both mocked Mior and found it funny.
I'm glad you stayed back for awhile.
Not that I'm glad you were willing to walk home in the rain. :/
I'm glad you asked for my number.
I'm glad I gave it to you.
I'm glad you gave me your book.
I'm glad I took it.
I'm glad you asked me about job opportunities.
I'm glad I told you a few things, or you wouldn't have told me you got a job in Chili's.
I'm glad I invited you to hang out with me and my sister.
I'm glad you asked me out even after that.
I'm glad I saw how much you cared.
I'm glad you saw how much I cared, too.
I'm glad you let me in, even after all those dysfunctional past relationships you've had.
I'm glad I let you in, even after I was basically traumatized from so much damage.
I'm glad we went through a lot of rough stuff.
I'm glad we make a great team.
I'm glad we are what we are now, and I'm glad it wasn't in any other way.
Because at the end of the day, I'm sure you're glad that you have me..
And I'm glad I have you. ♥

Tokyo

2010-09-27T00:03:00.005+08:00

Completely obsessed with the RE trilogy, I've been listening to Tomandandy soundtracks. They're UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME! And I thought Danny Elfman was the only genius composer alive. D: How shallow of me. <\3

Been busy working and coming home to a mess of boxes and packaged things. We're moving by the end of this month. Which is four days away.

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

2010-09-21T03:23:00.002+08:00

I can't be completely confident that there isn't anyone in this world that has any of my characteristics or sidelines. But I can assure you that they're not made up entirely from the same components as I. :) So here are a number of my rather distinct characteristics which all-in-all creates the only 'Me' :-

> My name is considerably unique.
> And I have a considerably stern ego issue.
> Pleasing the people I care about is a major source of happiness for me.
> I'm disgusted by anything significantly cliché. I try to be different in every way possible.
> I'm not mean when I don't have a reason to be so.
> I don't look for/create trouble, even though I seem like a trouble magnet/maker.
> I eat 1 (ONE) proper meal per day.
> I'm a Math freak, but I'm no geek.
> Baking calms me down. Shopping cheers me up.
> Dancing is where my passion lies.
> I don't hate kids. I love kids.
> I don't go clubbing, neither do I pretend that I do.
> Can't stand the sight of uncivilized people (i.e fickle-minded and ill-mannered community).
> I'm a descendant of a family that consists of artists/musicians/dancers.

Basically, all of those components combined and infused into one person makes 'Me' different from everyone else. :)

2010-09-21T03:15:00.001+08:00

Tadaa! New blog photo. Say 'Hello!' to my new hairstyle (not haircut). ♥

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

2010-09-20T02:21:00.005+08:00

Today as we were texting, James asked me the same question. "If something could make you happy, what would it be?" Personally, I think it isn't an easy question. But out of numerous things that could/would cheer me up, here's my favourite:

Dancing
I would learn every kind of dance. I would dance through my future as I danced through my past. I have yet to surrender it in exchange for anything else this world can offer me, and I doubt it will happen anytime soon. Because through dancing, I believe I can express myself in ways that overshadows descriptions in words by a light-year. After all, body language is the first ever language used amongst Man.

Why would I carry such a weight on my shoulders?

2010-09-19T02:39:00.002+08:00

Why do I always help you carry your boulders?

Well someday you'll see that all I want is to please.

Pyramid

2010-09-17T04:41:00.002+08:00

Barista sched:
Mon (20/9): 0900 - 1700
Tue (21/9): OFF
Wed (22/9): 0900 - 1700
Thu (23/9): 0900 - 1700
Fri (24/9): OFF
Sat (25/9): 1130 - 1930
Sun (26/9): 1130 - 1930

Two words = Butt. Fuck.

Mum has decided what I should do as a career. My life is miserable, beyond imagination.

Biggest mistake, yet

2010-09-17T02:50:00.002+08:00

Was telling my Dad every decision I ever made. Period.

Change of Plans

2010-09-16T01:54:00.003+08:00

1. Working early middle shift this Saturday, which is from 10am to 6pm. Thank God!

2. I don't know what's up with my ex-classmates. They keep changing their minds about our reunion which is SUPPOSEDLY this coming Friday. What. Ev. Ver. Lah!

3. Decided to enroll into Aswara for a Diploma in dancing for it'll buy me more time to decide what I'd want to take-up as a lifetime career AND get me some form of qualification in something I love to do. :) James was suggesting that I took-up some cert in singing, as well. Oh, no. Hell no.

4. Law of driving computer test this Sunday. *fingers crossed* If I pass, I can proceed to the workshop. *toes crossed*

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

2010-09-15T04:20:00.002+08:00

Fantasy-wise, I'd say Michael Bublé. :B I've had the BIGGEST celebrity crush on him forever. Can definitely imagine making coffee for him first thing in the morning when he gets up to go to work (Oh yes, in this fantasy of mine he's NOT a recording artist. Instead, he's a 9 to 5 working husband who sings for fun and does not cheat. ♥). Rarr.

Reality-wise, I believe you only get to plan what you want to do or have in your life because God has determined an unknown destiny for each and every one of us. So, I 'wish' to be with James in the future - not because we're currently in a relationship, but more towards the fact that he is a reliable and considerably stable person. Despite the fact that he can be very blur at times - he is a very kindhearted person, nevertheless.

I know it's ridiculous how you often find people predicting who their soul-mates are but then changing their predictions every time a falling-out occurs. I admit that I'm somewhat traumatized by this unlucky question.

Maybe I'll just say that I don't really know. And no one should blame me for that.

Anxiety

2010-09-13T23:15:00.003+08:00

I was free.

I was free from such nuisances.. such troubles.. confusions, and decisions. Free from so much responsibility that I now hold over myself.

So I struggle to fall asleep. Anxiety holds on to both my legs whilst dragging me down into a cold, heartless pit of reality. My mind would be browsing, linking, flipping, and searching for answers - and it usually does not stop until a solution provides it some closure.

Aside anxiety are side-effects, such as headaches, sicknesses, or peer pressure. Followed by a gush of uneasy feelings that make me considerably uncomfortable in my very own so-called 'comfort zone'. That, my friend, is very, very scary.

Some things aren't helping. My future is giving me as much headache as my past is giving me. And my present is officially messed up.

I officially have anxiety disorder.

Eidul Fitri

2010-09-10T04:58:00.002+08:00

Eid shopping was basically awesome. :D

1. A pair of washed dark gray denims from Padini Authentics.
2. Two shirts from Brands Outlet.
3. Toga dress from D2D.
4. Gray fitting hoodie from Kitschen.
5. MAC make-up. (shared)
6. Nude coloured t-shirt bra.
7. NEW UNDERWEAR RARRRRR!
8. Mum's Vincci handbag.

I R happy even though it wasn't much. But I R not too happy about this year's Eid celebration. There are a bunch of misunderstandings/drama amongst our relatives and us. I'm pretty sure that a number of families wont be seen at any of the common open-houses.

1st Day: Visit Grandpa Jonid, then off to Great's place w/ Dad. :/ After that, probably heading to Uncle Eri's place with Grandma and Uncle Nahar's family for final chilling session. Ho man. OR might have to tag along with Grandma to more unknown relatives' houses. MORE $$!

2nd Day: My Mum's suggesting that we visit my disowned Granddad. I'm completely refusing to follow. If he questions my ethics, I question his priority. HOPEFULLY GET TO GO TO TOK NONG'S HOUSE IN PUTRAJAYAAAAA! It's been a long time.

Not too sure what else is planned for Eid. But this is all I know, for now. I be carrying my camera and tripod everywhere I go, tomorrow! I plan to take photos of the whole family!

2010-09-09T02:16:00.003+08:00

Due to getting 4 days off from work for Raya, I've decided to list down my working schedule for next week!

Barista sched:
Mon (13/9): 0900 - 1700 (Partners' meeting at 1830)
Tue (14/9): 1530 - 2330
Wed (15/9): 1530 - 2330
Thu (16/9): 1630 - 2330
Fri (17/9): ~~1200 - 2000~~ OFF (switched shifts with Lin for Saturday)
Sat (18/9): 1200 - 2000
Sun (19/9): OFF

My oh my. I'm hating my schedule for next week. I'll DEFINITELY have to do the grease trap. And that sucks! PERIOD.

500th Post

2010-09-08T02:04:00.002+08:00

Two words:-

Fuck. Yeah. >:]

P/S No matter how much I hate your guts, I still love you to the moon and back. But I HATE YOUR GUTS!

Misery Business

2010-09-07T05:53:00.005+08:00

Slightly drenched in cold sweat, I struggle to keep myself in complete slumber. But I guess a couple of things are disturbing my thoughts. I couldn't go back to sleep since then. Might as well let it out, I suppose.

1. Where can I get extra cash to buy Paramore's Standing Zone tickets?
and..
2. Is it really selling out fast? Will I be able to buy it in time?

Amirul told me that a majority of his Parawhore friends are buying the Standing Zone tickets, and it seems to be SELLING OUT FAST! This drowns me in sheer worry because I desperately want to go, cannot afford to miss it, and yet, I can't seem to get a hold of enough cash at the moment. I refuse to settle for anything less than the Standing Zone. Refuse.

So, tomorrow itself, I'll be going to the bank for some ASB issues. Along the way, I'll try to get extra cash for those tickets. Head to OU and make a bee-line to Rock Corner to check out the availability of those Standing Zone tickets. IF (INSYAALLAH) they are still in stock, I will purchase 'em RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

I'm sorry, but I can't afford to wait for anyone. I consider this a lifetime opportunity. I'd be more than happy to support you financially when it comes to buying your tickets, but in the meantime, I'd like to get mine. ♥

Zoom zoom!

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

2010-09-07T01:05:00.006+08:00

Let me try to recall all of them.

JC/Jessie
This is basically what most of my family members/relatives call me. My parents decided this as my nickname even before I was born. I don't use it among my friends, colleagues, or strangers. I suppose it's strictly used by family only.

Jaz
Most people know me by this name. It's just a shorter version of my first name. And it's an easier name for people to remember. I consider it more of a convenience rather than glamorous.

Jazzy
Because people like to exaggerate my preferred nick name. -.-'

Jazelio
Often used with an additional 'Jazelei' (So it's Jazelio Jazelei) which was pretty much aspired from the name Galileo Galilei, the "father of modern observational astronomy," the "father of modern physics," the "father of science," and "the Father of Modern Science". Definitely from my Form 5 History text book, because I love European history.

Jazlee
Somewhat a 'tomboy' name I created for myself. I'd use it on jerseys, or just when I feel like being a little less feminine. Haha.

Elia
Only Izree Joha (my classmate) calls me this.

Elly
Only Nod calls me this. And you shall never know who Nod is! BAHAHAH!

Okay I can't think of any other nick names. So there you go! Zoom zoom!

2010-09-07T01:01:00.002+08:00

Woops, sorry for the late post (regarding the day-to-day challenge). Was out with my uncles (or 'cousins') after buka. Shisha-ed with them for a bit because it's been AGES since we last saw each other. Was the first time I met Amin! Awww they're just sooo adorable.

Thanks guys for having my back when I was dizzy and nauseous, earlier. I guess it was all that smoke and me being worn out from work. Hope to hang out with you guys, again, before Amin goes off! ♥

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

2010-09-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

I don't have things completely planned out, really. I just go with the flow. But if you mean like tiny tiny plans, then I suppose I have a number of things I really want to do before I die. I don't remember all of them most of the time, but here's a few:

1. Racing cars/big bikes/horses/planes even.
2. Actually DECIDING what to do as a career.
3. Collecting MAC and Chanel make-up. (For some obscure reason)
4. Upgrading my photography materials and techniques.

So there you have it.

Le Vernis

2010-09-05T00:12:00.002+08:00

I want to get some more Chanel make-up. :( My sister and I shared some cash to get this MAC foundation thing. It's pretty good. Pretty worth it. ♥ Pretty tempted to get one of Nana's eye-shadow pallets bcs they're too awesome. I should start wearing make-up, again. Should I? :3

Barista sched:
Mon (6/9): 0900 - 1700
Tue (7/9): 1530 - 2330
Wed (8/9): 1530 - 2330
Thu (9/9): A/L
Fri (10/9): A/L
Sat (11/9): A/L
Sun (12/9): A/L

As I said to Joanna,

"Life is good." *grins*

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

2010-09-04T23:49:00.002+08:00

I would want to switch lives with Emma Watson for one day! :D Simply because she's gorgeous, she models for Chanel, gets to wear Chanel clothes/make-up/handbags/accessories etc., which is total mindfuck. She earns billions from every HP movie, gets chosen to cast for more major movies = more $$, CAN AFFORD A WHOLE WARDROBE OF CHANEL SHITTTT TOTAL MINDFUCK PLEASE, and yeah.. that's basically it. Mostly about her being filthy rich, stunning, and swimming in a pool of Chanel luxury. ♥

Complete mindfuck, I swear to you.

Pike's Place, Seattle

2010-09-03T00:07:00.002+08:00

.. is one place I'd LOVE to visit! :D The first Starbucks Coffee store ever! ♥

Work updates:- Been doing a lot of opening shifts. And I can tell you that opening shifts during fasting month is HELLA BORING! I mean, it's bad enough that you literally wait for your shift to end. But when there aren't any customers? You have nothing much to do. Then you end up doing a lot of cleaning work (i.e cleaning the merchandise wall, glass walls, shelves, bar cupboards, under the counters, etc) because there's even nothing to slide. The pathetic horror!

Working 5 hours this Saturday, in which I have a feeling will end up being 6 hours. -.-' And I might have to do the grease trap. And dispose some garbage bags. Nuuu. I hate all that. D:

Fasting month:- About 9 days to go! Can you believe it went by so fast? It feels like fasting month started about a week ago. -__-' And I'm going to miss the spiced chicken Nazim buys for our break. Yummmm. Spiced chicken. :9

Paramore:- So you've heard! PARAMORE IS COMING TO KL, FUCKYEAHHHH! :D It's Rm358 for the free standing Rock Zone, though. But I'm definitely MORE THAN WILLING to pay that kind of money just to watch my fave band LIVE! Once I have a sight of Hayley on that Bukit Jalil National Stadium stage, I be dying. ♥♥♥

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

2010-09-02T00:06:00.002+08:00

I got muscles, ho yeahhhhhhhhh!

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

2010-09-01T22:35:00.002+08:00

Okay I'm sorry, but I'm too friggin' lazy to go get my iPod - so Imma use my iTunes. Hah.

1. Naive - The Kooks
2. Feeling Good - Muse
3. God Is A Girl - Groove Coverage
4. Seasons - The Academy Is
5. La Vie En Rose - Pomplamoose (Edith Piaf cover)
6. The Party - Justice
7. We Run This - Missy Elliot
8. Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps - Cake
9. You're So Gay - Katy Perry
10. Human - Skye Sweetnam

2010-09-01T00:06:00.001+08:00

Independence Day

2010-08-31T22:55:00.003+08:00

I don't exactly feel like being all patriotic since I'm only part Chinese and I don't consider myself a Malay AT ALL due to my major Javanese ethnicity - though I am an inborn Malaysian. But I'm not patriotic. -.- You see, Malaysia is not about the races it accommodates but more about the people who were there to watch it progress/digress.

Most parts of the world know that Malaysia is basically declared 'Paradise On Earth' because none of the severe natural disasters can occur on our land. We are, somehow, small enough, that there are no life-threatening physical features, such as volcanoes, earthquakes, or twisters/tornadoes.

I suppose we can be proud of the fact that we consist of all kinds of races - but we shouldn't take pride in how we treat each other. Some of us HAVEN'T A SINGLE RESPECT for one another, most don't give a shit, while a minority of us just want to kick each other out of this country. I mean, you call this unity? Excuse me, but the last time I checked a thesaurus it didn't include the word 'disobedient' as a synonym for 'unity'.

I'm not saying that I'm pissed off with our society, no. This is just me voicing out about my perspective of our country. Sure, Malaysia's a beautiful country LANDSCAPE-WISE. Our tourism commercials show that we have amazing rain forests, beautiful beaches, and different cultures that just bond fairly well. And this is all basically referring to our country-side and rural area environments.

What about in our cities? What is there to be so boastful about? We have an average variety of malls, a handful of museums which people don't give a shit about anymore, housing areas which accommodate people of different 'levels' via atmosphere and district. And? The kind of obnoxious, disrespectful, and ill-mannered people you bump into whom live in the suburbs?

I apologize if this offends any of my readers, but I believe that this is the fault of ALL RACES. You cannot say that "Oh, the Malays are so lazy, careless, and stupid", or "Chinese people just think about getting more money but paying less, and they eat like pigs because they eat pigs", and even "Indians mean trouble!" - these are sheer insulting comments these people give to each other. Regardless of when they're overwhelmed by anger, or just placing a not-so-harmless opinion.

I don't believe in complaining about other people because I believe that we see another person's flaws so that we can realize that that certain action is wrong. And with that knowledge, to hopefully bring peace to ourselves by reflecting it back to us, improving ourselves, and avoiding these kinds of negativity. We can be the 'better number of our community' just by doing this simple step. By preventing harsh comments about each other, and looking at it from an optimistic angle. "A Random Act of Kindness" is powerful.

So, I would like to wish Malaysia a very progressive 53rd Independence Day and many (hopefully) good years to come. LONG LIVE DR. MAHATHIR!

Purple lighters

2010-08-31T02:14:00.009+08:00

Once upon a time..

"Hi, I'm Mr. Muffin. And I'm on dope." :D Hehe.

"I hetchuuuu. You're not wearing our JJ necklace. You owe me a teh tarikz." :(

:( "Awwwh, izzokay. I bought you zis instead!" :D

"Zoh-my-God.."

"I TOTALLY WUV YOUZZZZZZZZ!" xD

The End

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

2010-08-31T00:37:00.006+08:00

Well, I can't seem to find the most recent photo of our JJ family. :/ So I guess we'll have to settle for an oldie. ♥

This was probably taken around 1996.

Dad and Mom, while they were still pretty much 'together'.

And this is my sister and I. The best photo of us, by far. :)

So basically, this is my main focus - the JJs. Next up is my Mum's side. Again, I don't have a single photo that consists of all of us. So I'll have to give a few photos. I'll probably make effort to actually snap one with all of us in a single shot. ;)

My grandma, my Mum, and her two younger brothers.

Aaaand their offspring - the Lapan Cucu.

My Dad's side is larger, quantity-wise. I refuse to put up a photo of the adults (only because I can't find any ha ha), so here's a photo of all my cousins at my cousin, Nazrin's wedding. :)

Ho yeah, we rock alright.

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

2010-08-30T00:03:00.003+08:00

To you,

In a way, I've spent my whole life around you. We were close since we were toddlers, grew up together, and prospered apart. I would expect the same unconditional love and respect from you as I fairly give you. That, I suppose, would be the least a person could expect from another person, especially their own flesh and blood.

To my dismay, you have been a great disappointment. I never thought that the one person that seemed truly reliable could ever be so heartless and cold as you have been. In other scenarios, your role is one of the most trustworthy roles. But you have proven that general statement completely wrong.

Tell me -- Are you doing this to get attention? Pity? Or just to mess up other peoples' lives in contrast of how 'imperfect' yours is? It's funny how you assume your 'victims' aren't capable of turning around and betraying you as well. Don't you dare think that we are all just miserable. We're all waiting.

I shant speak of the unspeakable cruelties you've done, because I leave it entirely between you and God Himself. When you defend yourself once we confront you, and say that you should never have to answer to any human, then you're right - because the only person you have to answer to is God. No matter how far you run from it, no matter how hard you try to hide it, one day, some day, the time will come.

I have a number of nuclear bombs planted in your territory. One will blow your entire world, and one will explode myself as well. And when the right time comes, I will, and I repeat, WILL doubtlessly use those bombs. Fair and square. You ruined my life, and my friends' lives. It's time for you to ruin your own.

With love,
Your Cousin.

Macchiato

2010-08-29T21:53:00.002+08:00

People seldom pronounce it properly. First pay is in!

Barista sched:
Mon (30/8): 0900 - 1700
Tue (31/8): 1300 - 2000
Wed (1/9): 0900 - 1700
Thu (2/9): 0900 - 1600
Fri (3/9): OFF
Sat (4/9): 1300 - 1800
Sun (5/9): OFF

Five freakin' working days next week, man. Pffffffft. I'll be doing the grease trap for two freakin' days! Thank God they're not consecutive.

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one

2010-08-29T21:34:00.002+08:00

I found out about Blogspot from friends who had blogs as well. I tried it once and found it simple to manage, so I decided to make one for my little writing passion. It was basically similar when it came to Tumblr. Before I actually made one for myself, I was somewhat stalking certain Tumblogs, such as audreyhepburncomplex, sabino, and tweexcore. I was smitten with the photos they were passing around, so I decided to make my own Tumblog and 'Reblog' the photos I found dazzling, and made it my Photoblog. So there you have it. :)

Rumblin' Tumblin'

2010-08-28T02:03:00.007+08:00

Just got back from work about an hour ago. Was so freakin' tired from cleaning the cafe. So I accompanied Janet to the trash room to throw away our garbage. It wreaks there, for the love of God! But it's fully air-conditioned. o.o Anyways, I was making my way back to the trash room entrance when SUDDENLY, out of motherfucking nowhere, I FREAKIN' SLIPPED AND FELL ON MY HIPBONE. ON. THE. FREAKIN'. DISGUSTING. GARBAGE. FLOOR. Holy fucks, I was millimeters away from crying my eyeballs out! D: Ran to the ladies room and totally sanitized the affected areas on my pants before going back to the store. Sheesh. :(

Best part was when I was on the way home, happily hoping to see James online to webcam with me all the way from Penang, when he told me he couldn't webcam tonight and wanted to webcam tomorrow. Sigh. What a bummer. :'(

I hate you, SS. You are a bloody pussy for bossing people around like some kind of hot-shot leader. Please remember that you were once just like us, cs the next time you boss me around or be ridiculously irresponsible and lazy, I'm going to say "NO" to your fucking face and make you do it yourself. Don't make me give you diarrhea bcs I. Am. Highly. Capable. >:[

Figured that I should start tumbling again, soon. Maybe after fasting month? I don't even know why I wanna wait til then. -.-' Feels like I don't have time, nowadays.

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

2010-08-28T01:53:00.003+08:00

I miss these two girls. :( Saw Jessica a few hours ago, and the last time I saw Ash was EASILY 3 weeks ago. D: Miss 'em, miss 'em, MISS 'EM!

Decode

2010-08-27T03:11:00.002+08:00

Closing shift, tomorrow. Finally, some work to do. James is going to Penang for 3 days. :( I'M GOING TO MISS HIM AS HELL! Fuck ittttt. Ugh. This is one of the consequences of being so clingy with each other all the time. I'm officially depressed nao. Sigh.

Medjai has halitosis. I've gotta take her to the vet, soon, to get the medical attention she needs. I'm worried. And agitated at the same time. -.-' It's somewhat immensely uncomfortable to be near her. Ick.

On a brighter note, FIRST SALARY COMIN' UP! And PARAMORE IS COMING TO MALAYSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! :D 19th Oct, fuck yes.

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

2010-08-27T00:22:00.002+08:00

I have one lame playlist. Bare with me.

Happy
Amanda Seyfried - I Have A Dream/Thank You For The Music
Chloe Agnew - Vincent (Starry, Starry Night)
Jim Sturgess - Across The Universe
John Legend - PDA
John Mayer - Waiting On The World To Change
Kinnie Starr - Alright
Metric - Sick Muse
One Night Only - Say You Don't Want It
Rufus Wainwright - Bewitched
Those Dancing Days - Run Run
Travis McCoy - Billionare
Yiruma - River Flows In You

Sad
Alanis Morissette - Not As We
Babyface - The Loneliness
Claude Kelly - Always A Day Too Late
Flyleaf - All Around Me
Jem - It's Amazing
Nsync - Gone
One Republic ft. Timbaland - Apologize
Paramore - Decode
Pixie Lott - Cry Me Out
Saosin - You're Not Alone
Those Dancing Days - Hitten

Bored
Anberlin - Hello Alone
Arctic Monkeys - Old Yellow Bricks
Brand New - Sic Transit Gloria.. Glory Fades
Close Your Eyes - Song For The Broken
Metric - Help I'm Alive
MGMT - Of Moons, Birds, and Monsters
Michael Jackson - The Way You Make Me Feel
Michael Sembello - Maniac
My Chemical Romance - The Ghost of You
The Organ - Brother
Saosin - Seven Years

Hyped
Black Eyed Peas - Imma Be
Brown Eyed Girls - Abracadabra
Chris Brown - Forever
Justin Bieber - Somebody To Love
Justin Bieber ft Jaden Smith - Never Say Never
Ke$ha - Your Love Is My Drug
Ke$ha - Take It Off
Ke$ha ft. 3OH!3 - My First Kiss
Lady Gaga - Just Dance
LMFAO ft. Lil Jon - Shots
Fall Out Boy - Dance, Dance
Justice - The Party
Lady Gaga - Alejandro
Livvi Franc - Automatik
Paramore - Born For This
Paramore - That's What You Get
School Gyrls - Something Like A Party
Shakira ft. T-Pain - She Wolf
Super Junior - Sorry Sorry
There For Tomorrow - Waiting
3OH!3 ft. Katy Perry - Starstrukk

Mad
Alesana - What Goes Around Comes Around
Avenged Sevenfold - Nightmare
Enter Shikari - Juggernauts
Jason Derulo - Whatcha Say
Jay-Z ft. Rihanna and Kanye West - Run This Town
Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up
Paramore - Careful
Pierce The Veil - Beat It (MJ Cover)
Pixie Lott - Mama Do
Stacie Orrico - Stuck
The Strokes - Reptilia
System Of A Down - Toxicity
Vedera - The Falling Kind
The Vines - Ride

Ugly truths

2010-08-26T03:39:00.004+08:00

Number one, I have my dad's facial features. So I have a rather manly jawline, guy-ish features, and I look like I belong in the 'Jonid clan' (which I refuse to accept!). D: Sometimes, I can deal with it. Sometimes it doesn't bother me at all. But sometimes.. I. Just. Want. To. Give it back to him! I don't know how I'm going to do that BUT I WILL! And I have a limited number of silly facial expressions because I might just end up looking exactly like my dad. Which is scary.

Number two, my ego is sky-scraping-ly high. I don't apologize well, I don't express myself well, I always maintain my 'mojo' - and I don't give in easily - but when I do apologize, or express myself, or give in, I really mean it and the person involved SHOULD be very dear to me. But I suppose my ego excludes customers as potential victims, which is, of course, pretty much sensible. I mean, you could die, like literally die, if you were ever so disgraceful towards customers, no?

Number three, I have this fear of being scolded by people I care about. I mean, my ego could be pounding on their heads without my realizing it and make them explode, and I end up getting 'raped'. Lol. Raped. How epically coherent. :D This is basically traumatic via experience itself. I don't think there is a specific name for this fear. I wish I could find out what it was if there was such a phobia.

Number four, another fear which I possess is called Bathophobia, which means fear of deep waters. It originates from a little bit of Claustrophobia in which I somewhat possess as well, due to my fear of suffocating/not being able to breathe. I cannot hold my breath for too long. I would get an anxiety attack and pass out almost immediately.

I've probably had it since I almost drowned (and stopped breathing for 3 mins or so) in my Uncle's swimming pool, when I was just about 4 years old. I've attempted to swim in deep pools and the ocean, for several times, but I never really came over that fear. I took swimming classes for half a year, then stopped because I couldn't take it, anymore.

Number five, I'm rarely sentimental. When there's a personal problem which involves crying, I'd usually end up thinking about it in the most logical and reasonable way possible. Trekkies would label me as a typical 'Vulcan', I suppose. Haha. But it's not like I never cry, it's just that I avoid it. Of course, if overwhelmed by such dread and sadness, I would definitely breakdown into some ugly cry. I'd look like some punched up cherry.

Number six, I forgive but I don't forget and neither do I 'get a grip'. I could go on and on about something you did a decade ago and not let you off that easily. I COULD. But I usually don't because I end up getting annoyed of myself. -.-' How amusing. But on another note, there are just a couple of people that I can't seem to get my case off of. Maybe a nice punch in their face would provide some kind of closure. :D Beats me.

Number seven, and I swear this will be the last ugly truth because I'm running out of ideas and seven is my lucky number. :3 Anywhooo, the seventh ugly truth is that I have something strong against typical, narrow-minded, uncivilized people. It's terrible. Sarcasm would be MY defense against their stupidity. Ugh. And it's sad to say that most of these people consist of Malays(?). Those typical ones(?). I don't know. I won't dare say much about this, but yeah, I hate them. Can't stand the sight of them. Sorry.

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

2010-08-26T00:25:00.003+08:00

I'm proud of the customer service I provide. :) It's not consistent, neither perfect, but it definitely brings a smile to both me and my customers' faces. It's surprisingly satisfying when you meet a customer whom either remembers you, laughs at your silly little jokes, answers pretty much enthusiastically when you greet them, tries to remember your name as you ask for theirs, and smiles to you warmly.

But what I'm most proud of is that I am able to satisfy my customers and make them leave the store with a huge smile on their faces, even when they don't buy anything from us.

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

2010-08-25T22:27:00.002+08:00

Dayyuuum, fell asleep too early last night, and for being caught in eternal slumber, I ended up being late for work. -_-

So, short terms goals for this month and why. Let's start:

1 - Of course, master the art of Barista-ing
It's been a month, now, and I should think people take a little more time to complete training and the BTP modules. I hate doing the BTP modules. They're so.. curious (too many questions) and yabby (too many explanations)! But (I think) I have completed it. I think. :/

I need to conquer the POS register and marking system. I need to improve my consistency. I need to improve my multitasking. I need to stop being so bossy to 'slow' partners. I need to be more patient. I need to be able to accept. And I need to come up with more general questions that I can ask the customers I interact with.

2 - Stop being cranky all the time
I have this problem where I can't seem to hold back anger/disappointment/despression/sadness/dismay and whatnot very well. Even if I try, I'm sure that a portion of it will escape and somehow affect the person involved. Satisfaction is the best feeling in the world. But it hurts other people. So I should really stop being so cranky by putting all those horrid feelings aside and let the sun flow through me. :)

3 - Complete next month's portion in the 365 Flickr Project
Since I started working in Starbucks I haven't had the time to snap photos for my project, when in actual fact, I bring my camera with me everywhere I go. SO YES. I have to start snapping, again.

That's basically all I can think of, for now, as far as 'monthly goals' go. My brain is dead. Or I'm brain dead. Either way, it works for me!

Mundaneness

2010-08-24T23:32:00.002+08:00

There's practically no more excitement in my life. I should start dancing, again. Maybe after this fasting month. I need the work-out and all that choreography. :)

Besides that, I literally wait to post those day to day titles. It's pathetic, I know. Reason being I haven't the slightest idea of what to post at times, and there's just so much time to be wasted! Watch me as I do two posts in a day and look for MORE challenges. Lifeless.

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

2010-08-24T02:25:00.013+08:00

James Tang ♥
His name is James Tang Sheng Hong (JTSH). Born on the 23rd of December, 1992. Yes, we're of the same age, even though I still consider him 297 days younger than me. :) He's a Capricorn, and he's as Chinese as a banana Chinese can get. Hehe. He's tall (about 6 feet), a little buffed, has the normal capacity of acne on his face, fair, and his upper body is longer than his lower body. :B

We used to be schoolmates back in Standard 3 at SKBBSD2. We had a whole bunch of mutual friends but we never actually made friends with each other (Can you believe that?). Before SPM, we went to the same tuition centre together, as well, which was Integrity Tuition Centre. Again, we didn't realise each others' existences until we met at driving school! :D (Oh well, I'll tell you about 'that' some other time on some other post)

The first time I fell in love with him wasn't when we first met, or various meetings after that, but it was when we went to Cineleisure for a movie (Both of us can't remember what movie it was, lol). We were queuing up for tickets when I simply leaned on his arm as I stood beside him - and soon as I made that first move, he was hugging me and holding my hand. I don't know why, but being in his arms always felt so warm and cozy to me. It felt like home.

I know I've only known him for 4 months or so, but I feel like I've known him all my life. He's the kindhearted, passionately loving, boundlessly caring, deeply understanding, forgiving, generous, warm, funny, modest, selfless, optimistic, and amazing person most people desire to be with. If not everyone, maybe just me. I never knew that such an extraordinary person existed, and I never knew that such an extraordinary bond existed, as well.

He's shown me a much more beautiful side of life. He's shown me that not all hope is lost. I've never had someone so positive and open minded in my life as he is because he just has this way of seeing things on the brighter bit. As optimistic as most people can be, there will always be the slightest tinge of pessimism. But I can't seem to find such pessimism in him, anywhere. Nothing can ever really demotivate him because he always has a stronger word to push it aside - and that makes him quadruple as extraordinary. :)

I'm not saying that he's all good and none bad, but what's the point of looking at peoples' flaws all the time when you can enjoy their beauties, instead, no? He CAN be annoying, lame, extra lame, and a little blur, at times, but those are the imperfections that make him the James Tang I know. So who gives two fucks! I love this boy for everything he was, wasn't, is, isn't, will be, and won't.

James Tang, you have made the biggest impact on me - as a person, as a human being, and as a soul. You gave me a future. I love you.

P/S Nobody's messing with us, this time. Nobody. ♥

News flash

2010-08-23T17:04:00.003+08:00

She has some guy. He, now, has a girl of his own. Their children? I don't think they even give a shit. Why not put them up for adoption? :) So that you can have more babies and abandon them as well.

You're the exact drama I've tried to prevent all my life. I hate you. All of you are fucking ridiculous and you don't even realise it. That's good you know. You totally prove that theory of mine where I claim that YOUR generation caused various lethal pollutions and global-warming. YOUR generation raised all those couples that abandoned all those babies in those trash bins. YOUR generation tried to wring billions of dollars from a man by accusing him of child molestation and what not, and killed him. YOUR FUCKING GENERATION CREATED THIS GENERATION, MY GENERATION, IN WHICH YOU ALL CLAIM YOU HATE SO MUCH FOR OUR CHILDISHNESS. Well, do you see the source now? It's YOU.

Get the fuck outta my face, I never needed you. Just. Fuck. Off.

Ne-Never Say Never, Ne-Never Say Never

2010-08-23T03:09:00.002+08:00

I is obsessed with Justin Bieber. He is illegally adorable. And I find it LETHALLY ADORABLE when he did a music video with Jaden Smith. Oh my God. ♥ They. Are. So. Cuuuuuuuuuuuuute!

Back to reality *like snap outta it*, earned my Cup Fund pin and a nicer name tag from HQ, yesterday. Cleaned the cafe for closing, two days in a row. I am going to die from a horrid backache. :( Thank God it's my off day, tomorrow! :D *snorts*

It was mind-fuckingly-hilarious to see Cong being forced to clean the Grease Trap because he was doing the middle shift. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Good shit right there. Like, "Unfff yeah get in there! Ohhh!" You cannot imagine the amount of sound pollution he was creating. -.- Shouting, yelling, and cursing at everyone, including himself. He's.. a sad, sad case. Sad. Extremely sad.

I text Nod the other day cs I heard she was baring the symptoms of dengue. :/ Claiming that she had been resting in bed for a week or so by then, I let her get all the rest she could. Really concerned, here. Get well soon, Nod. ♥

All kinds of shinanigans are happening in my life at the moment that it's starting to take its toll on me. Sigh. So much bullshit.

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

2010-08-23T01:32:00.006+08:00

Violet Parr (The Incredibles)

Violet Parr is a junior high school teenager stuck at the crossroads between girl and woman. Violet desperately wants to be like everyone else, to blend in with normal people, and to not stand out. Appropriately, her superpowers allow her to turn instantly invisible, and to generate spherical force fields to protect herself (and also to levitate extremely heavy objects; the interiors of the force fields have an anti-gravitational effect, allowing Violet to levitate inside), but she can be stunned temporarily if the field is struck by a sufficiently large force.

A reason being why I chose Violet Parr as my favourite super hero is because she possesses the power of invisibility and the creation of force fields, which are also known as 'defense super powers'. And I believe that defense is better than offense. Besides that, Violet's characteristics describe herself as an outcast, which is very much similar to my story. The only worst thing next to being an outcast is not being able to disappear. So when Violet has the ability to disappear, she's really fortunate, actually. :)

She has always been my favourite super hero. Hands down.

Saturday fever

2010-08-22T02:13:00.003+08:00

Starbucks was booming, banging, and rather lively when I arrived as customers were accumulating at around 6 in the evening. Did closing with Nazim and Afi, today. So.. I had to clean the cafe! *Dun. Dun. Dunnnnnn.* Nazim wrote down a whole list of things that needed to be done. Affirmative. I was scared. Haha. Managed to finish most of it. Nazim helped with the tit-bits, like stocking up the condiments bar and sanitizing the tables. Thank God. Nazim, you is awesome. *shakes hand vigorously*

Barista sched:
Mon (23/8): OFF
Tue (24/8): 0900 - 1600
Wed (25/8): 0900 - 1700
Thu (26/8): OFF
Fri (27/8): 1700 - 0000
Sat (28/8): OFF
Sun (29/8): 0900 - 1700

As you can see, Thursday's my day off from work. Ladies night, anybody? LMFAO.

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

2010-08-22T01:42:00.003+08:00

Windsor, London, United Kingdom, in 1995.

Mumbles Pier, Swansea, United Kingdom, also in 1995.

Bali in 2007.

Madina in 2007.

Mecca, also in 2007.

Plasters

2010-08-21T01:59:00.003+08:00

Of which I have totally deluded myself into this little 'Day-to-day' challenge, I've almost forgotten the liberty to post about anything. How pitiful.

I just realised that I have this certain fondness for plasters. :B I'd grab any chance I can get to use them. Ridiculously strange, I know. But hey, it isn't like some sort of fetish or anything of a sort. I just.. like them. Behehehehe. *geek grin*

Work was unbearably slow, earlier today. Barely a handful of customers within a half an hour span. It hastened its pace around lunch time, which was incoherently yet somehow embarrassingly relieving and enthusing. There was a time when there was only one POS partner and I was the only one doing both hot/cold beverages and blended beverages. Wow.

NO idea why, but I cannot wait to do closing shift, tomorrow. As long as I get to do the BOH duty. :B

Am now MSN-ing with James using a number of strong words. He's beginning to get confused. And I need to read more blogs and books. Peace out.

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

2010-08-21T00:52:00.002+08:00

I wish I didn't pluck my hair. :/ I'm literally balding because of this habit. It's annoying yet I can't really bring myself to refrain from it. It began when my cousin, Fatihah, started plucking my hair. Oh my God it was SO relieving, that I started to do it myself. It's not that I simply pluck any hair. I tend to pluck the so-called 'itchy' ones (?). If you get what I mean.

To make matters worse, I was born with thin hair. -.- So I'm twice as bald as anyone should ever legally be. I. Should. REALLY. Stop. It. Soon. It's so unhealthy.

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

2010-08-20T01:36:00.013+08:00

Instead of 'A picture', I'm going to post a whole bunch of them. Because there isn't really 'A picture' to completely picture the number of amazing friends I have. :) So, cheers!

Art Class of 2009

The oh-so-famous Byron girls. ♥

The whole Form 5 batch of 2009 on our Graduation Day.

As you can see, from my school on its own I've managed to make a whole lot of good friends. All of which plays a part in my memories of BSI and none who made it a horrible one, even during those hard times. Most of us still keep in touch, of course. It's only been half a year since we last sat for an exam as schoolmates, together.

On another note, here are some friends I've made outside school, whom are equally as amazing if not more. :) My best friends.

Syawal Zainal

Raja Nadeeya Raja Rozaimie

Andrew Tan

Ezzah Hanif

Qistina Omar Selamat

Anis Nadira

Besides best friends, I know a whole lot of other unforgettable people.

Last but not the least, here are some of the people I've made friends with from the places I've worked after high school.

Children's Discovery House

Padini

Starbucks

There are probably a million other photos of me and the same wonderful people. These are just some of the ones that I can grab a hold of, for now. :)

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

2010-08-19T13:25:00.003+08:00

My Tumblr name is aquasocks as well. It only consists of 'aqua' which is one of my favourite colours, and 'socks' which is a piece of clothing accessory. Like, a pair of aqua socks. Get it? :D

It's nothing complicated, really. I was desperate for a new name, the other day, because my previous Tumblr name, which was dangerousliaisons, was getting TOO old. So I managed to come up with something simple, yet somewhat 'catchy'. And I've loved it ever since.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

2010-08-19T01:28:00.007+08:00

1. I have been at this height since I was 12 years old.
2. I'm a messy person. Room-wise.
3. Loves: Cameras, plain baby t-shirts, Chanel make-up & fashion line, Starbucks' Ice Caramel Chocolate/Chocolate Cream Chip/Vanilla Hot Milk, teppanyaki, the smell of coffee, homes, holidays by the beach or up some Goddamn hill, cats, children, Cate Tiernan's Sweep book collection, family gatherings or vacations, complete reunions, Mathematics questions (total psycho freak), plays, musicals, drums (and drummers), and Wales (for the landscapes).
4. Hates: Calamari, durian, watermelon, vegetable (including those evil Peas), listening to people's dramas like some Spanish soap opera on telly, being harassed with multiple questions at a time, ill-mannered children, bad-hair days, and my childhood (especially school years before Form 5). And when I visit a salon to get my hair cut but ending up with a tinge of difference in any way possible - that is devastatingly lethal.
5. I don't do anything that's anywhere near cliché.
6. My hair used to be mattress-springs curly. Putri Dariah curly.
7. Very indecisive. Very. Skyscraper very.
8. I blank-out a lot.
9. I'm a virgin. Will be until I die. Fuck yeah.
10. Bisexual.
11. I used to be really ugly during my early school years. Don't get me wrong, I was an adorable toddler.
12. I have an obsession over collisions and explosions.
13. I'm a sleep-addict.
14. I make the lamest jokes. Or I make the best jokes lame.
15. I have one lazy eye and astigmatism on both eyes. Horizontally blur.

2010-08-19T01:25:00.002+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then? Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30- Who are you?

I have no idea how I am going to pull this off for 30 consecutive days. -.-' I should start immediately and NOT do it consecutively.

Le Challenge

2010-08-18T04:57:00.005+08:00

Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
1. Your superhuman heart beats in me.
2. I wish you had shown me the way you appreciated life.
3. Stop being so dramatic and do something for yourself, for once.
4. Grow up.
5. We might declare ourselves 'close' but you don't have a clue about me.
6. It's okay. It's going to be okay.
7. Get the fuck outta my face.
8. Thank you. For making me hate you once you've shown your true colours.
9. You. Do not. Exist.
10. What's that I hear? You're sick and tired? Well.. go and do something about it, then!

Nine things about yourself.
1. My date of birth is on the 1st of March, 1992.
2. All though I'm a pure KLite, I'm of a non-Malay ethnicity.
3. I love dancing.
4. I adore ballet.
5. My favourite subjects are Mathematics, Art, and European History.
6. I love photography.
7. I'm a hipster.
8. I'm not available.
9. I'm a smoker.

Eight ways to win your heart.
1. Be honest.
2. Be different.
3. Be modest.
4. Be mysterious.
5. Be passionate.
6. Be understanding.
7. Be simple.
8. Be irresistible.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1. James.
2. My Future.
3. My family's well-being.
4. Finance.
5. Death.
6. My Past.
7. My best friends.

Six things you wish you’d never done.
1. Bought those shoes.
2. Bought that shirt.
3. Suggested that camera.
4. Bought that belt (what the fuck was I thinking?!)
5. Dated that guy.
6. Dated that other guy.

Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
1. Mum.
2. Dad.
3. Dimi.
4. James.
5. Syawal.

Four turn offs.
1. Boasting.
2. Selfishness.
3. Inconsideration.
4. Discouragement.

Three turn ons.
1. Love of children.
2. Reliable.
3. Maturity.

Two smileys that describe your life right now.
1. :)
2. :s

One confession
My liver was a tender chunk of meat, pounded and ground in so many different ways that it built itself a hard exterior shell. A thick, hard shell which cannot be penetrated and can no longer danger my tender chunk of meat. It's going to take awhile for me to peel through those layers of shell and let someone in.

Crackling

2010-08-18T01:26:00.003+08:00

My back so totally hearts and now my chest hurts, too. Saw my Grandpa Jonid, a few hours ago. He's stable, sleeps a lot, whines a lot, mumbles a lot, and still asks for random things like some small boy or some pregnant woman with cravings. Mum's sick as well. The last time I remember people were falling sick around me, I lost a number of relatives to death. One after the other. Which usually comes with this chest ache. It's this uneasy feeling of dread and fear. The fear of losing someone or something.

It doesn't matter what you did, and it doesn't make a difference when you regret doing it, but what matters is what you can do, and if/how you do it.

I can't ponder on the past, anymore. It's rather unhealthy. And you, Past, are rather unworthy.